Dishwashing Gifts

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

"It's only fair to warn you, I've joined the Union Of Dishwashers."

Let's get organized

Moses separating his Laundry.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Kitchen Tetris

Maybe clean out your wallet

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

The Movers - Decluttering

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

Desert Island Raking

"Your sweaters go in the drawer, your shoes go on the shelf, and you go in this nifty cubby here."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

"I thought you were organizing my stuff."

Clearing Away Christmas

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

'Never, Ever...open the glove compartment in your car.'

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

'We're extending an offer of employment to you contingent upon the results of a drug test, psychological consultation...'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

As the Dryer Spins

Man waiting for final leaf of autumn to fall.

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

'Particles, particles, particles.'