Dishwashing Debates Gifts

Choose joy, Al! If you mean "joy" dishwashing liquid, I prefer "Dawn."

Kitchen Tetris

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Protestors outside an exterminator shop.

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"

THE UNCANNY PREDICTIONS OF THE GREAT NOWSTRADAMUS, 'A prominent academic will suggest that females may be intrinsically emotionally different from males... and the feminists will become hysterical.

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Clones are people two!

From now on, the rats that get steroids don't have to run the maze.

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Now, will someone pass me a whale?

Government Interference with Science.

"Papi, we've decided we want nothing but salads...and hamburgers...for every meal."

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

Jury Bribes.

'Sometimes I wish they'd just test vaccines on us.'

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

"We gave cocaine to some and not to others, and now there's a full-on drug war."

Penguin confused about which bathroom to use.

"The boss started me on the bottom. Not in the mail room, but in the office cafeteria washing dishes."

The others in the office send a poignant message to Frank to stop leaving dirty dishes in the break room.

'World peace? No -- but we've brought you some very advanced dishwashing detergents!'

Meat bi-products.

'Man, I go for genetically modified chicken food!'

'We do not discuss soybeans on these premises, Mrs. Grommet.'