Dishwasher Aficionado Gifts

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Cat statues on entrance gate

Sweep the board.

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Waiting for Pants

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Board Game Hunter

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Dust Bunny

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Doulton Canada Geese

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'

Cleaning up space junk.