Housework Aficionado Gifts

'Pull the cord! The vacuum works now!'

Multi tasking, zero tasking

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Raptures

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

Washing Line Walker

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"How did you get him to do housework?"

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'