Home Improvement Aficionado Gifts

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

Man must make unfinished furniture from tree limb.

'He can't make up his mind what colour he wants the ceiling.'

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

'We're not migrating this year. We winterized the place instead.'

Bed, Bath & The Beyond

Sink's clogged again?

Mr. Briggs finds that his newly painted gates have been drawn all over by rude boys.

'Joyce, remember those cheap bulbs you bought?'

'I knew they'd be up to something while we were out!'

'I think we should go back to welding classes and forget about interior decorating classes.'

Builders Merchants with swing doors.

'What the... a fat human in my cellar?! We really have to clean up here, Roy!

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I didn't spark joy."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."