Home Improvement Geek Gifts

"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

'Daft place to put a dartboard.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"Mulch madness"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

Bob’s Museum

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

House for sale - some assembly required.

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'