Home Improvement Geek Mugs

"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

'Daft place to put a dartboard.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Mulch madness"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

House for sale - some assembly required.