Dishwasher Aficionado Pillows

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Sweep the board.

Cat statues on entrance gate

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Waiting for Pants

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Dust Bunny

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Doulton Canada Geese

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Cleaning up space junk.

Robotic Flower Arranging

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'