Dirt Digger Gifts

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.

"I'll rent one out as a Dirtbnb."

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Sunbathers.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

' Get ready to make a wish.'

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

Put it in petty cash.

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"Let's face it - we're much better at digging up new dinosaurs than naming them."

'So much for the sheriff who was going to clean up our town.'

'Can Kevin come out and play?'

Born To Raise Dirt

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

'I think someone wants you to search for buried bones.'

"You must stop digging up the past."

Museum. Digging dinosaur bones is hard work, but it can also be thrilling! Last year it was electrifying when we found an intact t-rex mandible with a complete set of deadly serrated teeth! We carefully unearthed it, but it slipped from our hands when we picked it up! No harm done. It was not damaged. That was totally anticlimactic. It was educational. Next time I'll know to not get excited when a paleontologist says he has a jaw-dropping story.

Of course nothing grew --- You just put drumsticks in the ground! I was trying to grow beets.

'Anything else need tying up?'