Earth Digger Gifts

Geology.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Go! Means NOW!

Sunbathers.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

' Get ready to make a wish.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'I think I've scored.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Stratigraphy

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

These upside-down tomato planters simplify everything. But, dad. Mother nature wants plants to grow upwards. Sez who?

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"I thought it was deeper here."

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

Put it in petty cash.

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

"The earth's core changed directions."