Detail-oriented Digger Gifts

Information/Too Much Information

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Go! Means NOW!

Sunbathers.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'I think I've scored.'

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

The Devil's in the detail!

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

Micro and Macro Department,

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

Put it in petty cash.

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

Devil in the detail

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."