Dinner Time Detective T-Shirts

GREAT MYSTERIES OF THE WORLD: Suddenly Warren ate up all his dinner.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Don't tell him anything."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'Mine was stone cold.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

'Darling - are you finding these waiters rather over-attentive?'

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'