Dinner Party Detective T-Shirts

'I picked up an interesting sounding wine to go with the roast. Have any of you folks ever heard of Kahlua?'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"You do like octopus?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'Hey, Pal, hope you don't mind - we're running a little low over here.'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four