Dinner Detective T-Shirts

"How did I find my steak? Well I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

"Does your waitress have any identifying marks or tattoos?"

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

'Okay, give me a clue. Animal, vegetable, or mineral?'

'I knew something was wrong when I couldn't find my dinner.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Don't tell him anything."