Restaurant Detectives T-Shirts

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

GM Crops Genie.

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Don't tell him anything."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Turkey Autopsy