Dining Out Detectives T-Shirts

What's this charge for shipping and handling?

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'How is the water prepared?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"Don't tell him anything."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

'Mine was stone cold.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."