Diners Clubber Gifts

Home of the Bottomless Cup of Coffee

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Can I have flies with that'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

'How would you like your toast?'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

The Walk of Shame

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'