Supper Clubber Gifts

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

Ladies Drinking In The Dinning Room After The Men Retire To The Drawing Room.

'I'd expected rather more from a pop-up restaurant.'

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Rump roast?"

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Pastry Hat

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Ghostbasters 3

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

The Walk of Shame

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

"Do kids eat free?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

'Do you want toast with that?'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

A clown has a revelation at the shrink 'And then one day it dawned on me Doc... we're just not funny!'

Gangsta wrap.

That's weird - every time I call the self-help hotline, it goes straight to my voicemail.

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

French suppers.

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."