Diner Enthusiasts Gifts

'Wide Load' enjoying a meal . .

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"Salt mill?"

"By golly, this tastes just like Mom used to make...she couldn't cook either!"

'Notice: Blueplate special may cause urine discoloration.'

Luckily, no one was hurt, thanks to the doggy bags.

"They won't grind fresh pepper here, but they'll open your can of soup right at the table!"

How We Know You're Getting Old

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'