Digital Love Detective Pillows

"So, uh, your profile said you oil... what's that all about?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Terry had a computer bug.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Your website or mine?'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."