Digital Love Detective Pillows

"So, uh, your profile said you oil... what's that all about?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Clickbait

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'Your website or mine?'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'