Digital Love Chaser Pillows

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'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"I tried running in gyms, but nothing gets me motivated like running towards a love interest...."

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Strategies that will always work

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

'I was warned about online dating.'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"I didn't mind that his Valentine was a e-card. The big letdown was getting the box of e-chocolates."

"What's the saying? 'An Amazon gift card is a girl's best friend.'"

'Oh - My - God - I think I'm virtually married.'

"They met online and they found the minister there, too."

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

"Welcome to my youtube channel, today I will show you how to photoshop your body so it looks just like mine..."

The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.

If you meet someone online who says he's a 22 year old software millionaire who looks like Harry Styles he's really unemployed, 45 and lives with his mother!

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

'Wow! I wonder if there's an app for that?'

Taking Cole to Newcastle

A woman with a laptop

"We're not the type of ghosts he's afraid of. It's ghosting from the person he met on that dating site that he's afraid of."

A man throws darts at a heart.

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

Carpal Tunnel of Love.

"Guess who the computer came up with for you, sweetheart."

'We met through an Internet dating service!'

Modern Marriage

'Well, I heard he was a player.'

'Sorry - My diary's full this week.' (Botox, liposuction, botox, implants, botox)

Cyber Sex.