Digital Delinquent Gifts

'I made an illegal entry on my computer. What are you in for?'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

Music downloads

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Privacy - Surveillance

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

Things that go beep in the night.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.

"I need a more interactive you."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"I virtually finished my homework."

Spam.

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

I'd rather be phishing.

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

"The tricky bit is finding some UK infrastructure that's working to switch it off."

Cyberwarfare

'Well, I told you not to open that attachment!'