Digital Sinner Gifts

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

Moses on the web

'We've re-branded.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

"I have an app for that."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"I need a more interactive you."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Brother Ernest, you have give up all donuts for lent, not just the ones with pink icing.

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

You Have 1 New Messages

Gracebook.

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."

"There's also a link to my manifesto in the notes section—www.freewilioz.org, articles four and five, respectively."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"I just friended God!"