Digital Delinquents Gifts

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I need a more interactive you."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"I virtually finished my homework."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"Yeah, my mum made me come outside to play as well."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Internet access... internet access....'

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"I've never seen such destruction on a phone. What happened?"

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

"How could I flunk? All my answers came straight from Siri."

Frank, you're partly cut out of this picture! Kids these days know their gadgets but nothing about where food comes from. I hired a kid to work on the farm and that photo is what I got when he heard the word "crop."

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

'Oh no ! I've crashed.'

"Well, I think we've finally cured your obsession with the internet..."

'Professional downloader of Napster files' looking for work

Big smart phone and small tablet.

'Would madam care to see the menu, or would she prefer to peruse the inane twitterings of so-called celebrities.'

'I typed in a nasty message about Bill Gates, and the whole thing froze up on me!'