Diet Evolution Fan Gifts

In the beginning man was a vegetarian, but one day he discovered meat as a food group.

'The circle is complete!'

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

All Natural Nothing

Before/After

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Homo Zapiens

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Diet Cud

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

The Beginning of Nostalgia

Evolution

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"