Diet Evolution Fan Pillows

In the beginning man was a vegetarian, but one day he discovered meat as a food group.

'The circle is complete!'

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

All Natural Nothing

Before/After

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Homo Zapiens

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Museum of Anthropology. Did Neanderthals carry backpacks?

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

Evolution

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Diet Cud

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."