Dietary Evolutionist Pillows

Before/After

All Natural Nothing

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'New Barbeque.'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Nutritional Supplements.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Diet Cud

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"We've gone glutton-free."

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"A deep-fried bone is taking it too far!"