Diet Food Fan Gifts

'Let there be lite...er, wait. Let me try that again.'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

The Nihilist Deli.

Friendly bacteria

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Motor-blender.

"Listen Matt, me and the boys think you might be overdoing this Paleo diet thing!"

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I eat guys like you for breakfast! Well, I USED to, until I realized how pathetically low you are in omega-3 fatty acids!"

"Your diet's fine, but maybe cut back on the seeds."

'Keep arguing about eating you spinach and Mummy won't be able to guarantee your health and safety.'

'Ryker's Natural Foods - Kelp wanted'

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

"The people next door eat a lot better."

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

Avacados

'How is the new diet going?'

'This organic seed's so much better for you than ordinary seed!'

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

"Sure it costs more. We have to squash bugs by hand."

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

"Forget it. Too many preservatives."