Diet And Fitness Fan Gifts

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

In the Guru District

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

Turn, turn and turn.

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Yearbook

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Monica Seles

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

Exercise Class

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"