Fitness Fan Gifts

"It's for my back. You have two more questions."

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'Five more, Billy! No pain, no gain!!'

'Find out who got Santa the Slim-master 6000 and put them on the naughty list.'

Betty used every opportunity to exercise her pelvic floor muscles.

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'According to this, I'm under height.'

Hamster doing warm-up exercises before going on the wheel.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'I hate her...'

Pilates of Penzance.

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

'I started pole dancing and one thing led to another.'

Summertime Blues

'You can't keep living the way you're living.'

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

'It has ten speeds but only one has been used.'

Fat Biker: 'Maybe I shouldn't trust this bridge that much.'

"How long have we been sitting on balls, Jon?"

Thin and thick

T-shirts read: I am the master of my fate/Oh yeah?

Lapdogs

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

Mugger put off by smelly runner

"Eat more vegetables, if you know what's good for you"

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."