Fitness Fan Pillows

"It's for my back. You have two more questions."

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'Five more, Billy! No pain, no gain!!'

'Find out who got Santa the Slim-master 6000 and put them on the naughty list.'

Measuring Height and Weight.

Betty used every opportunity to exercise her pelvic floor muscles.

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Runners at the end of a 'Fun Run'.

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Hamster doing warm-up exercises before going on the wheel.

'According to this, I'm under height.'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'I hate her...'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

Pilates of Penzance.

Fat Biker: 'Maybe I shouldn't trust this bridge that much.'

'It has ten speeds but only one has been used.'

Summertime Blues

'I started pole dancing and one thing led to another.'

'I'm part of a double-blind study to see how weight loss supplements help people lose weight. I'm guessing I received the sugar pill placebos.'

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

'You can't keep living the way you're living.'

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Lapdogs

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

T-shirts read: I am the master of my fate/Oh yeah?

"How long have we been sitting on balls, Jon?"