Diet Discourse Fan Gifts

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

Political Analysis

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"It has a cream base because we hate you."

Urp! Homo Eructus.

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

'I have a hard time believing that fast food causes obesity.'

'I know it's my third doughnut, but it's okay. I'm using the Pilates method of dunking.'

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

'You need a more balanced diet.'

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

The Atkins Diet.

Regular ground beef, irregular ground beef.

"I'm a big devotee of fasting."

LostFound.

"I refuse to eat vegan food. I'm an omnivore, me!"

"You're not being reasonable Darling: the doctor has told you not to snack between meals..."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'