Diet Satire Fan Gifts

'Trans fat will do that.'

"Two vegans, please."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"Turns out it was all water weight."

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

I've been trying to cut back on my salt intake. I'd also like to do that, but unfortunately, my main source of salt comes from tears streaming into my mouth.

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Try to cut down on your salt intake.