Diet Dilemmatician Gifts

"I'm giving up my diet for Lent."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'The biochemist at work' The biochemist at lunch'.

'It looks like you need to eat a more balanced diet!'

'I have a hard time believing that fast food causes obesity.'

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"It has a cream base because we hate you."

'I know it's my third doughnut, but it's okay. I'm using the Pilates method of dunking.'

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

'You need a more balanced diet.'

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'