Dietary Dilemmarians Gifts

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

Advent fridge

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

Man at restaurant is presented with his roast pig, as the pigs grieving family look on.

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.