Dieting Dilemmatician Gifts

NEW BREAKTHROUGH IN DIETING! I'll have one regular cheeseburger from column "A", and one negative calories cheeseburger from column "B." Menu. Menu.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'The biochemist at work' The biochemist at lunch'.

'Pastry sniffing canine corporation' entering a 'Diet clinic dormitory'.

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

'I have a hard time believing that fast food causes obesity.'

'It looks like you need to eat a more balanced diet!'

"It has a cream base because we hate you."

'I know it's my third doughnut, but it's okay. I'm using the Pilates method of dunking.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"