Diet Dilemmists Gifts

"How can we be overweight? We eat like birds."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

"Time for a diet or a double-wide."

"Then it struck me - nobody originally on the Paleo Diet lived past 35."