Diet Dilemmists Pillows

"How can we be overweight? We eat like birds."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

"Then it struck me - nobody originally on the Paleo Diet lived past 35."

"I shouldn't, but I'm going to have the garbage."