Dietary Dilemmists Gifts

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'