Dietary Dilemmists Gifts

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'