Diet Dilemmic Gifts

'Running is a great form of exercise, even if it's only to get to the takeaway before closing time.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

Fast food trap.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

Advent fridge

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

I want you to eat less fibre.

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.

Things you'll never hear me say.

"How can we be overweight? We eat like birds."

"A pint of chocolate ice cream is a reasonable equivalent for a half cup of non-fat yoghurt, right?"