Diet Dabbler Gifts

'How much longer do I have before I have to change to a healthy lifestyle?'

"Am I still hungry or am I just eating this because it's still there?"

The four major food groups.

Cheesecake nutritional information.

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Self Service, Self Denial

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

Gym. A fitter you in 2017. Biting off more than I can chew isn't the problem --- It's biting off more than I can work off.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'Dinner is ruined. I brought too many diet's home from the office again.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'I am going to change my diet, this drives me mad!'

'Who's having the lesser of two evils?'

'Look, all I'm asking is that you turn your head, and I'll just read my weight to you.'

'Using your workout video as a coaster for that huge dessert tells me you're off your diet.'

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

Book Signing. "The Inflation Diet." How does it work? You spend the same amount on food each week and the rest takes care of itself.

'It's the 'start tomorrow' diet. I've stuck to it religiously for 12 years.'

When I walk as part of my fitness plan I feel a new, great appreciation for all humanity! That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. It's so hot and humid nobody's around today. Magnificent desolation! Do you think you'll stick with your diet? Failure is not an otion. Look! An ice cream truck! On the moon I'd weigh 41 pounds and could eat ice cream all day! Houston we have a problem!

The Fast Diet

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"I'm not putting you on a diet. I'm putting you on a hunger strike."

"I'm wearing a karate gi because my doctor told me to start aikido diet."

Café. Lo Carb Specialties Diner. It's ironic that they advertise on a sandwich board.

Ask About Our Diet Doughnuts! All the calories are in the holes.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Dieting Motivation.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons