Diary Digester Gifts

"You've just been copying things from my sex diary into your sex diary."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

Professional woman in pub

'Lost Diary'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

Sponge Blog

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"It started out as the Great American Novel. Then The Great American Screenplay. . . Short Story. . . Blog Post. . . And now I've got it edited down to a Tweet."

Gigolo Diary

Snake Blogging,

Little girl to baby: Is that a good book?

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

'All my opinions are posted on my online blog.'

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'