Diary Digester Pillows

"You've just been copying things from my sex diary into your sex diary."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

Professional woman in pub

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

'Lost Diary'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

Sponge Blog

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

"It started out as the Great American Novel. Then The Great American Screenplay. . . Short Story. . . Blog Post. . . And now I've got it edited down to a Tweet."

Gigolo Diary

Ernie's looking up the meaning of "palindrome". Dictionary. Aha!

Snake Blogging,

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

Little girl to baby: Is that a good book?

'Chief say he eat to many beans.'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

Happiness is blogging the first days of summer.

'Oh, I am SO going to put this on my blog!'

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

No one said anything about blogging …