Data Digester Gifts

Human Silicon Chip: Capable of six computations per hour.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Violent Crime Statistics

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Eureka! Details to follow."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'It looks like our data.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"Are these 'raw' facts or 'spun' facts?"

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Introduction to Computer Science. In this class we'll cover hardware design, software engineering, cyber security, networking and many other topics. Later you can take advanced classes and study these subjects in great detail. The scary part is no matter how much we learn about computers we'll never know as much about them as they know about us!

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"Look, the numbers don't lie."