Diary Keeper Gifts

'How dare you write in your diary that we're NOSEY!'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Have you made a new year's resolution?"

"Dear Diary, I'm so excited about next year. It's a time for fresh starts and saying goodbye to those annoying things that make life crummy."

'Care to guess how you rated in my diary last night?'

I'm still planning the party on the 5th and hoping for better attendance than the one on the 20th...

'If you don't think I'm nosy, why did you write it in your diary?'

"I can never think of anything to put in a diary"

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Professional woman in pub

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

Mystic's Diary

'Because there are things that men are better off not knowing -- that's why you shouldn't read your sister's diary.'

"Nothing much happened today"

'Dear diary, today I learned how to 'fetch'. I wonder when he'll teach me how to use the computer?'

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

Gigolo Diary

Stephen Harper goes to bed. Snooze until my 5am wake up call from Hedy Fry.

Dear Diary. . .bored with nothing to do, be glad when Doris gets home from work!

Let your story out

"My daughter thinks I'm nosy. At least that's what she wrote in her private diary..."

"I've decided to keep a diary of my retirement, and already I'm five weeks ahead."

"Your father's keeping a diary of his experiences and thoughts during lockdown."

"Mom - Dad's reading my diary!"

'Dear Diary, all I did today was eat, watch TV and make an appearance in the 'Fusco Brothers'...'

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

"Any of you boys interested in fresh gossip for your diaries?"

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

Dear Diary: Today I was the proverbial "Fly on the Wall" in the President's office. And on this momentous day, I got to hear what shit SOUNDS like!

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

Dear diary, there are people in this house who are very osy-nay, so please excuse my occasional use of ig-pay atin-lay.

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

Day 11. Still can't tell if I'm the last human left alive after the apocalypse, or if it's just that no one is getting back to me.

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'