Diamond Defender Gifts

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

'You don't have your stuff today, Philip. I'm taking you out ... Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

No Soliciting

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

Science Snobs

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

'Nest egg for retirement ... and inflation!'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Save the Cacti.

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

Droplet with a pencil.

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Castle Cat Flap

Revenge of the Mallards.

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

Ginger Breadman

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'