Dragon Defender Gifts

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

No Soliciting

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

A man shoots at a drone.

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"Not on my watch..."

Save the Cacti.

You're in luck - The 5-second rule is not legally binding. Donuts.

Uh-oh, They're evolving!

Droplet with a pencil.

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

My first pro bono case.

"Sorry Matilda, but we're going to have to let you go...on the bright side, I hear they're hiring over at Chik-Fi

Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

Revenge of the Mallards.

Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.

"This is a clear violation of our civil rights."

"What do you mean - dolphins aren't vegetarian?"

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

What's in the milk today?

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

'It's a survival trick: I'm making sure the fur-traders have no interest in my hide...'