Dandelion Defender Gifts

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

No Soliciting

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

A Change of Scene.

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"This is what happens when we don't practice social distancing."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

Fish with Shield

Salesman on Holiday

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

Uh-oh, They're evolving!

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.

Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

"Sorry Matilda, but we're going to have to let you go...on the bright side, I hear they're hiring over at Chik-Fi

J.F. Bonner 1886 - 1974. Soldier, Statesman, Author, Philanthropist. Trivialized by the media 1986.

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

Ginger Breadman

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'

"Must you people always call at dinnertime?"

What's in the milk today?

"This is a clear violation of our civil rights."