Devout Catholic With A Funny Bone Gifts

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

The ten ammendments

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Pope Benedict at Easter

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Dangerous Populist Pope

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

'Good. Now, make a generous offering without expecting anything in return.'

Big Brother in Monastery.

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

"You have to admire Percy. He never forgets his working class roots."

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

"The Pope said nope!"

'Thank God it's Monday.'

Hop-scotching monk.

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

Pope still on tight shedule.

"It's tough identifying as a trinity. . . when only gatherings of two are permitted in public."

"New drive-thru confessional!"

Shoo!

Roman Catholic Guilt Trips

'I think Jesus had a horse. Have you ever heard of his sermon on the mount?'

'Careful, it could be a trappist.'