Devout Catholic With A Funny Bone Pillows

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

The ten ammendments

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

Pope Benedict at Easter

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

Dangerous Populist Pope

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

'Good. Now, make a generous offering without expecting anything in return.'

Peter denies Jesus three times.

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

Big Brother in Monastery.

"The Pope said nope!"

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

Hop-scotching monk.

'Thank God it's Monday.'

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

"You have to admire Percy. He never forgets his working class roots."

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

Pope still on tight shedule.

"It's tough identifying as a trinity. . . when only gatherings of two are permitted in public."

"New drive-thru confessional!"

Shoo!

Roman Catholic Guilt Trips

'I think Jesus had a horse. Have you ever heard of his sermon on the mount?'